Qualities to Teach your Child: Forgiveness
Assist your children to develop these qualities and they’ll forever be grateful, even if they don’t realise. These qualities will forever stay with them and impact their lives in ways greater than any knowledge they might acquire at school or university.
In Life we are certain to feel pain. Many times this pain is inflicted on us by others, but most of the times it is us who inflict it on ourselves.
Forgiveness is key to let go of a painful past to live and enjoy the present.
Forgiving others for their wrong doings is a self-liberating act. Holding a grudge or even hatred accomplishes nothing. Why burden oneself with past pain when letting go is possible?
What is done is done. Who you are here and now and what is to come is your decision.
Forgiving others is an act of wisdom. Forgiving oneself is an act of a creator, for when you forgive yourself you are giving yourself the opportunity to change and to recreate yourself.
Self-Forgiveness is, therefore, the most powerful form of forgiveness. You do not have the power to change others, but you have the power, and the duty, to change yourself for the better.
HOW can you help your child to be Forgiving?
- Teach your child to forgive others. To do so help him or her identify the feeling of animosity experienced and explain that (hopefully) there was no intention to cause pain. Explain the circumstance that caused the pain so that the information (context of the situation) can be used to override the feeling of animosity towards the other. The information is crucial to understand how the pain was created and to come to the point of forgiveness. The one causing the pain should be guided to genuinely ask for forgiveness. Giving a hug as an expression of forgiveness and reconciliation is benefic and strengthens the relationship.
- Teach your child to forgive himself or herself for:
– Being too hard on themselves
– Judging themselves
– Feeling inferior
– Feeling inadequate
– Feeling frustrated
– Feeling impatient
– Feeling hurt
– Feeling ridiculed
– Experiencing irrational fears (i.e, fear of the dark, fear of making new friends, etc.)
– Not having self trust
– Not being confident
Use this forgiveness statement: I forgive myself for accepting myself for …
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be too hard on myself. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that I am learning and that I must take things slowly.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the dark. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that “darkness” is the absence of light.
When you can, use practical and real information to remove, for example, “the fear” – as demonstrated above.
Then to take the corrective action that complements the spoken forgiveness.
Remember that the thoughts, feelings, and emotions ONLY have the power that we give them. Self-Forgiveness helps with diminishing that power by instead empowering ourselves to decide “what to think” and “how to feel”.
WHY should your child be Forgiving?
For-GIVE-ing is the gift that we give ourselves to live in the Present.
Why live in past-pain when we can give ourselves the joy of the Present?
With Forgiveness your child will develop compassion, empathy, integrity, self-worth, self-respect and understanding.
Forgiveness is the way towards peace and happiness.
What other qualities are important?
I would like to invite you to share what other quality you see are important, how we can help our children develop them and why they are important.